My Heart is Outside Of My Body Walking Around

"The joy and anxiety of parenthood is the equivalent of having your heart outside of your body all the time, walking around."

That is it. That nails it. That describes it to a perfect T...the most perfectly scripted T. That's what parenthood feels like...like your heart is outside of your body all of the time walking around, sometimes running, sometimes sprinting. That is parenthood. 

THANK YOU, president Obama, for delivering a speech to bring comfort to those parents. I don't care what your political preference is, what he said is true if you are a parent and just take a little time to listen.

We don't listen anymore. We're to busy with sorting through our preconceived notions to just listen. I get it. I do it too.

Tonight I was on my laptop. And my phone. And hulu while the microwave was making steamed vegetables and the Baby Brezza was cooking more carrots for you. The sensory section of my brain was about to explode and I looked up and caught you staring at me. You had a toy in your mouth and you were staring at me with such gentle eyes.

So I closed my laptop. And I hung up my phone. And I shut off the tv and paused the microwave and turned off the Baby Brezza (the carrots can wait). And I laid next to you on the floor. You babbled at me as if to say:

"Thank you for tuning back into what really matters in life. Thank you for pausing life for me."

"Thanks for breaking away from The New Girl, or the most recent witty facebook status or the phone conversations that could surely wait until tomorrow."

"Thanks for being my mom for the time I have you all to myself. Thanks for pausing life for me."

And once again I am reminded of what's important. So here it is. My vow to you. When you are awake, I recommit to fully tuning in. Even when you are crankwake...that stage between cranky and awake, I promise to put my phone away and my laptop in another room. I promise to provide you with love, undivided attention and affection.

One day, you will pack up the car and head to college or life, wherever that may take you...and the last thing I want to feel in that moment is regret that while you were here under my watch, I wasn't fully...

Tuned in.

Oh, this made me cry today...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTzTt1VnHRM