Monday, November 24, 2014

You're Starting Not to Need Me

You're starting to not need me like you once did. You still NEED me, but in a different way. You're wiping my kisses, pushing away my hugs, covering my mouth when I sing, shoving my hand away when you walk down the stairs. 

You're starting not to need me.

And that's ok. This is how it's supposed to be: you growing independent from me while I cry in a corner. This is how it's supposed to be: you becoming you.

My sweet boy, I want you to know, no matter who you become, no matter where you land, I am always here when you're feeling like you need me. 

No matter what it is, I won't judge you. I'll listen. 

No matter how big the problem in your head, I will be present to hear you with an open mind.

No matter who you become, I'll be here when you need me and when you don't.  

You're starting not to need me and that's ok.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

This One is For The Dads

This one is for the dads who show up.

They are everywhere: on your soccer fields, at your PTA meetings, Dr’s offices, in aisle 9 at the grocery store. They show up to wash, cuddle, bandaid, clothe, love and hug their children…to teach them they matter.

This one is for the dads who show up for the moments spent screaming on the floor due to the inability to find the right words. They show up, they calmly comfort, they scoop up, they hug, they soothe.

They wake up at 1 and 3 and 5 and 7 and they still find the energy, the strength to smile the next day.

They roll on the floor, climb the playgrounds, beat the drums, stomp in the mud, turn on a washing machine, fix a broken pipe, diaper a newborn and repair the heating unit in the dead of winter.

They are super heros, full time employees, extraordinary husbands and friends. 

This one is for the dads because all too often moms get all the credit mainly because we're stuck in the 60s when moms deserved all the credit. 

This one is for the dads...especially you, honey. 

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Kids Say the Darndest Things

I've been writing down your funny statements lately.

"Mama, I just need some time to be sad. No singing, no tickling. I just want to be sad for a little bit."

"Whachya got there? Is it tasty?"

"Sharks are bad. They bite people and it makes them cry. I don't wanna be a shark, Mama." (said 3 days prior to Halloween after costume was purchased)

"I'm POOPY! I'm POOPY! I'm POOPY!" (shouted loudly in a public restaurant while people were eating)

"I do not like singing with you. I like to sing alone."

"Who is that scary man over there?" (he was standing 2 feet ahead of us)

"I DO NOT WANT TO GET IN THAT CAR WITH YOU. I DO NOT!" (said just prior to slamming a sippy cup into my left ear. I couldn't hear for 2 hours)

"Daddy carried me in his belly. Not you." 

"Mama, I just love your face so much. SO MUCH!"

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Office Makeover

We have a dog. He looks like a white seal. He is the sweetest, laziest, most awesome dog you'll ever meet. His name is the jazz musician.

Myles recently started peeing inside. It quickly became clear that carpet and and old dog do not mix. 

We decided to gut the only remaining carpeted room: the office/sunroom. Total project was $150 mainly for supplies. We got the cabinets for free and painted them gray to match bookshelves in our living room.  And when I say we, I really mean HE. This project was 100% my husband (minus the peeing dog who inspired it).

Here are a few before pictures:
And the renovation begins:

We chose a dark chocolate brown paint for the floor.
Here is the custom stained top:

 These pieces were free. With a new paint job and a quick spray of the hardware, they look great.
What a great place to work, pay bills, watch the seasons change and let guests stay (when we run out of room upstairs).  


Saturday, October 11, 2014

May You

May you find joy in the simplicity of loud music filling a quiet house on a crisp fall day.

May you always beg for just one more dance before bedtime.

May you express your feelings in the moment just as you do now (especially in the middle of Target or any public place).

May you wake up without an agenda and allow the day to be your guide just as we have done today.

May adventure fill your soul.

May you smile. Just smile. See what happens next.

May you witness all seasons and find a way to appreciate them, not complain.

May you never experience cancer...the real kind or the mental kind.

May you know what it feels like to turn the pages of a book.

May  you realize that it's not what happens to you, it's the way you react that will steer the passage of your life.

May you find passion and pursue it without doubt.

May you always have a dog.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014


Sometimes I look at you and I wonder where they went...all the days between then and now that brought you to here...this day.

Sometimes I look at you and I wonder if they will all be this fast. The days, the minutes, the years.

Sometimes I want to skip sleep to give us double the time together even if it means I won't be able to function the next day.

Wait, that last one was a blatant lie. I only function with adequate sleep.

Sometimes I wonder who you will be and the thought of me not being here to see who you become literally robs me of breath. I can understand why moms because hypochondriacs.

Sometimes I wonder how another woman could possibly love you the way I love you and I understand why women sometimes hate their mother-in-laws...because they just don't get it until they become moms.

Sometimes I feel like an absolute FREAK of nature for feeling all of these things. I feel like an over-parent, helicopter, obsessive, can't live without you, you're always in my mind parent. Sometimes I feel like a complete freak.

And that's why it's so beautiful. I have always admired the freaks.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

For Your Grandma-On Her Birthday

Today...a few decades ago, your Grandmother arrived. I imagine she let out a significantly loud scream just as you did. Her Dad, your Great Pap probably pulled her in his arms as his entire universe suddenly made sense. I'm sorry you never got to meet him. They will never make another like him, your Great Pap.

I'm sure your Great Grandma, a Teacher, held her in her arms and said a little prayer, just as she does daily for strangers, friends and family. She's a saint, your Great Grandma.

And here she was, born Becky Ann Boyd. Her future was so bright mainly because the two people staring at her loved her and told her they loved her every single day. Kind of like we do for you.

Your Grandma arrived today many years ago...and who knew her legacy would include you? Who knew? I can't help but imagine the way she felt on this day in all the years to come leading up to this day. I can't help but think the years flew by like we all know they do. Years spent gathered around different tables surrounded by people who adore her.

What a legacy she has created with the most gentle, kind, non-judgemental hands. A journalist turned children's librarian with a side dish of counseling friends along the way, her profession impacted young lives, but it's her heart that reaches so many.

Her heart.