Today I learned a few things.
1. Zombie parents can still function as normal human beings. They still eat, drink water and walk around aimlessly like several people I know. They may even form cohesive sentences if you catch them at the right moment.
2. When a baby toy goes off in the middle of the night because your husband rolled over on it, it's probably time to keep the baby toys out of the bedroom. No one wants to wake up to that. No one.
3. One cup of coffee works. Three cups off coffee ends up having adverse affect and makes you feel like a someone on serious drugs. Serious drugs.
4. When you put your feet in your baby's bath tub because you just need a little peace in your life, you should probably wash them off first just to be safe, but man it feels good when you're done.
5. When your baby tries to feed you, eat the food. Just do it. He is learning how to share and it's better to just eat the spit filled beets, bananas and spinach then have a baby that pushes kids down to get his hands on a lego. Just eat the benananch. Eat it.
6. There is an off button on toys. Use it. Even when baby is fast asleep, the dog will find the one toy that is still on and touch the sensor pad over and over and over again until the red monkey dancing begins to resemble that Chuckie doll. (That just happened).
7. When you're a zombie parent, put baby to sleep and go to sleep yourself. Don't try to have grown up conversations about grown up things. Just go to sleep. The moving truck will still show up. The to do list that wraps around the block will finish itself. Things will get done while you sleep by the elves that are bored because Christmas is over and there is 11 months left until they are un-bored again.
8. Just go to sleep.
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