Change

Sometimes decisions linger like a rain cloud on your wedding day. Life is 99.5% awesome, but there is this thing begging you to put it to bed...TO MAKE A DECISION ALREADY.

With each day that passes that decision tugs at your shirt sleeve begging for a little attention, for a little respect. "Stop ignoring me, I'm not going away. I may even haunt your dreams."

With the move comes a pretty major change: childcare. And although I would love to adapt a laid back go with the flow attitude in this department, unfortunately it just isn't possible when it comes to the life of our first born.

A few months ago we toured an amazing school. I swear they drugged the kids that day because they were BEAMING. They loved it there and I knew it. It's a great school. It's a wonderful school,  but when I left I didn't have that "I found it" feeling. It didn't feel right for Jack and I couldn't put my finger on why.

Until tonight when we met Sandie.

I walked in the door of her daycare and I knew instantly. This was it. Daycare love at first sight? Absolutely. We talked with her for an hour. Jack smiled and babbled at her and took in all of the colors cooing and smiling the entire hour. You see, here's the thing about childcare. There is no one that compares my husband and I when it comes to that little boy. We are the center of his universe.

But when we aren't with him all I want is someone to love that little boy like I love that little boy. And we have that now which is why I've been having nightmares about this change. Last night I literally had a dream that I showed up for this interview tonight and my current daycare person was there and she said, "Erin, I can be two places at once.  I'm here, but I'm also at the old house."

I cried and hugged her and asked her why she didn't tell me. I was so happy that she would still be able to care for Jack. And then I woke up with a knot in my stomach.

So, yes, lingering decisions can become mosquitos flying next to our ear drums, but sometimes if we just believe they will work out maybe just maybe they will.