On Going Back to Work

"It's not about the quantity of time you spend with your child, it's about the quality." -Nikki Hosei

You know those friends who always seem to have the right combination of words? Nikki is one of those. Oh, and she's going to grad school to be a social worker because I'm quite certain her heart like her mind is made of the warmest gold. Nikki is someone who will leave her mark on this world no doubt about it. Heck, she already has. Oh, and she's the reason I met my husband so she's kind of an important chapter in my book.

My thoughts on going back to work...

So your baby is 6-12 weeks old, you've had the most glorious maternity leave you could possibly imagine. Your body is starting to bounce back. You're feeling like yourself again. You couldn't be happier. YOU'RE GETTING PAID TO BE WITH YOUR PRECIOUS CHILD. It couldn't get better, could it?

And then that Sunday rolls around and you realize...it's time. You have to go back to work. Having managed work/baby balance for six months now, I am no expert on the topic, but I do have a few pieces of advice.

1. Love your job. It's a lot easier to go back to a job you love so love your job.

2. Find the right child care. This is probably the most crucial step. If you're confident in the care you have selected, your racing mind may race a little slower and you may actually be able to get a few things done those first few weeks back. I didn't just find care that I liked, I found care that I loved. She is a friend. My level of trust is ridiculously high. It's a family kind of relationship that I've nurtured.

3. Trust that it will get easier. Trust you're doing the right thing for your family and for your baby. Trust this situation isn't right for everyone, but it's right for you. It doesn't make you any less of a mother.

4. Cry. It's ok. Do it. Cry. Feel sorry for yourself. Do what hundreds of thousands of women across the world have done. Let the emotions flow because when the tears stop falling your baby will still love you just the same and you will still get up the next day and go to work.

5. Realize your baby sleeps. A lot. Half of the time you are working your baby is sleeping so you aren't really missing as much as your mind has tricked you into believing you are missing.

6. If it is possible to have your husband do drop of and you do pick up, this is highly recommended. Saying goodbye is a lot more difficult then the glorious reunion after your first day back.

7. Believe that one day you will drop that sweet baby off and his entire face will light up like he just got to Disney World and a little girl will walk up to him and kiss him on the forehead and tell him she loves him and his best friend will run up to him like he's the happiest kid in the entire universe just to see his friend Jack. And then, I can assure you you may just feel good about your decision.

8. Take Nikki's advice. Make the time together count. Be tuned in. Shut off the cell phone. Be present.