There's a Debate?

There is a presidential debate going on, but I'm distracted.

My friend texted me a picture of her ultrasound tonight. My heart instantly started racing because I remember sitting at my desk staring at Jack's ultrasound admiring the shape of his little nose and head and little hand. I remember feeling like I knew him even though I never held him. I remember holding that ultrasound picture with one hand on my stomach and thinking nothing was going to hurt him or me. I remember being protective of him before I even met him,  before we knew he was a he. I remember that feeling.

And as I stare down at that little face and smell that sweet baby breath and touch those tiny ears, I remember when Jack was "Baby P" or "Freedom Appleseed." There are some things I wish I could tell my pregnant self as I reflect on those moments, but no point in having a hypothetical conversation with my past pregnant self.

There is a presidential debate tonight, but I'm more consumed with the fact that Jack moved from point A to point B on his own. Jack is crawling. He is sitting up and he is crawling and although I still want to freeze these moments with him, I'm enjoying the changes. Tonight he snuggled into my chest after he took his last bottle. He flipped his head from side to side and letting out small mouse squeaks like when he was a tiny baby.

I held him tight and nuzzled my nose into his tiny neck and told him I loved him and I was proud of him and I was so happy to be his mom and that I loved him. I told him I didn't really care about the blue tie and the red tie in front of me, but I had to pay attention so I could make an educated decision for him.  

There is a presidential debate going on, but I'm more concerned with the tiny cheeks and the tiny nose and the tiny hands and feet. The world could be falling apart around me, but with this boy in my arms the pieces have fallen together quite nicely.